Hollywood is a place of extremes, so it’s really tough to figure out who the absolute worst neighbor is. But we may have finally succeeded. At the same time, I kind of like the guy.
He’s the son of a former beer salesman. How he got the money to buy four mansions in the Hollywood Hills and connect them into one giant home is amazing. Even comprehending it is way above my pay grade.
But his neighbors have filed 95 police complaints against his partying. He’d be glad to sell to anyone who has 50 million dollars to throw around. But his home is fabulous, and he rents it out for hip hop parties that apparently have to be seen to be believed.
Many years ago I read a hilarious article By Bill Vaughn in Outside Magazine. It’s not about Homeowners Associations, per se, but it’s a fantastic story about living with crappy neighbors. I re-read the story about once a year just to keep my spirits up. Now I want to share it with you!
With your permission, I’d like to take you on a video tour of what has to be the most gorgeous Homeowners Association in the world. The views are spectacular, tourists come from around the world to see it. The people get along with each other, no arguments, no liens, no lawsuits, no angry homeowners carrying guns into board meetings and mowing down board members. No lawyers, it’s Heaven on Earth.
HOA neighborhoods are sometimes so sterile they look like Army Basic Training barracks. I’ve been there. I went to Basic. And I can just see military trainees in khaki walking through these bland neighborhoods picking up cigarette butts. Sometimes the best way to describe the actions of HOA lawn Nazis is the old Disney tune for the Mickey Mouse Club TV show. Here’s a case where it’s more than appropriate.
Timber Creek Homeowners Association, Yulee, Florida. When Rachael Dennis moved into her new home five years ago she started getting hammered with violation notices and fines by the board. Damaged mailbox. Trash cans in the wrong place.
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his family are the latest victims of the Neighborhood Nazis. He and his family were selling lemonade outside their suburban home to bring attention to their favorite charity, Baby Buggy. It provides clothing and other services to families in need.
But in stomps an angry neighbor saying cars are stopping at the side of the road to buy lemonade and motorists are having the nerve to contribute to the charity. In East Hampton Village that’s a crime tantamount to bank robbery.
Yes, the bullies are gradually taking over in America costing young people a chance to see what times were like in the good old days.
