Table of Contents

Table of Contents

1. Full Disclosure
The author discloses his motivation for writing this book. Although the book is not about his personal experiences, the reader should know that the author has battled two adjoining HOAs in and out of court for more than 20 years. The hard lessons learned are shared.

2. On Waking Up
On a casual drive across the Northern Plains, the author is dismayed at the rape and pillage of the landscape.

3. Never Marry Brown
Why were HOAs created? A hint: what was the other big legal event in 1964? It involves Negroes, Orientals and Jews!

4. The Ultimate Law of the Universe
A surprising twist of fate means that Mankind is destined to never get things exactly right. In fact, virtually every human endeavor has an unpredictible way of backfiring. (See “FREE CHAPTER” elsewhere on this website.)

5. Closer Screwtiny
How bad can HOA governance get? Just when you think you’ve heard the wildest stories possible, the author says, “You ain’t heard nothin’ yet!”

6. “We’re Lawyers and You’re Stupid”
Swiping another man’s land is repeatedly cursed in the Bible. Moses, himself, addresses the problem. While Moses was Mankind’s first lawyer, what happened to the law in the late 20th Century is beyond dismay. Get ready to taste all the flavors of HOA land confiscation.

7. Bang! Bang! Crash!
Yes, we’re talking the Great Depression of 2008. The banking and mortgage crash began a years-long depression with actual unemployment figures nearing 20%. The tight economy taught HOA boards and their lawyers how to drain the bank accounts of hundreds of thousands of hapless homeowners. Did HOAs protect property values? Check out Modesto, Las Vegas, Harris County, Texas, Southern Florida, North Carolina.

8. “Nigger Roy” of Russell Gulch
A federal court case involving a modern day gold miner and a courageous judge. And a surprise look at racism in old and new “HOA America.”

9. Cowboys, Crooks and Bad, Bad Men
Twenty years in court taught the author some brutal and expensive lessons. But it also uncovered some hilarious ways of fighting back.

10. Expose Yourself
Yes, that’s exactly what the reader is encouraged to do. Just be brave and do it. The signers of the Declaration of Independence did. And a 1964 Supreme Court decision predicted and protected the Future Bloggers of America. You, Dear Reader, are now a member of “the Fifth Estate.”

11. CAI! CAI! CAI!
There’s just no way to explain this chapter title…unless you remember Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds.”

12. Two Plus Two Equal Four
Some math equations are eternal constants. But dictatorships of all kinds, including Homeowner Associations, hate it when the math can’t be manipulated.

13. “De Factos, Ma’am, Just De Factos”
Homeowners Associations are private non-profit corporations. But a growing number of court cases mention the phrase “de facto government.” It’s a warning bell for the entire HOA movement.

14. Of Guns and Greaseballs
Violence and threats of violence are growing as angry neighbors confront each other in sizzling HOA board meetings. Something else is growing: the numbers of cases of embezzlements from Homeowners Associations. Who pays for the losses? You do, of course.

15. The Power to Abuse
How does a good HOA turn into an abusive rogue HOA? Two of the most infamous and most unethical psychology experiments in history inadvertantly made some incredible discoveries. They help explain why Nazi guards felt it was OK to murder prisoners. They also disclose how the power over others goes to the heads of many people who rise to the top of an organization.

16. Collectivism, Progressivism and Beige
A 1986 train trip through the former Soviet Union leads to a stunning realization by the author about parallels between the Communist State and HOA Amerika.

Proposed Homeowners’ Bill of Rights

Recommended reading

“Get out of jail free” card

The Amazing HOA Syndrome

End Notes