Tag Archives: Neighbors At War: The Creepy Case Against Your Homeowners Association

HOA Radar Guns Aimed At YOU!

Regular readers of this blog know how I despise the idea of putting police radar guns in the hands of average citizens. I dislike them for a number of reasons, technological and legal.

I actually ‘possessed’ a radar gun for a short time back in 1977. It was ‘loaned’ to me by a friend in the Denver Police traffic division who promptly forgot that the ‘loan’ was for only a weekend. I ended up keeping it for eight weeks. My friend was curious about some weird readings he kept getting from the radar gun even when it was properly tuned and he wondered if I could enlist some electronics experts to sort it all out

In that same year Martin Marietta, the space rocket and satellite giant, had just built a four lane highway from its massive plant in southern Jefferson County all the way to the outskirts of South Denver. Nobody worked at Martin on Sundays so I had that four lane highway all to myself.

Each Sunday morning I would meet my attorney, some experienced electronics engineers from my TV station, and an engineer from one of my rival stations across town. We assembled a variety of cars, vans and trucks with the idea of videotaping the radar gun in action as we aimed it down the road.

The radar gun is actually very simple technology. You just aim it down the road and watch the digital speed readings on a small screen. When it tells you that a car down the road is speeding you just squeeze the trigger and it freezes the digital readout. The vehicle owner is then pulled over and given a ticket.

RADAR is a palindrome: It reads the same backwards and forwards, and the cops love to say “It gets you coming and going.” And that’s true, but what’s never explained is that many traffic cops don’t have a clue how these things work. After eight weeks with a half dozen engineers on a deserted highway, I know exactly how they work.

The radar, which stands for ‘radio detection and ranging,’ throws out a narrow-frequency radio wave that looks like a fat tear-drop shaped bubble down the highway. The radio wave bounces off the most reflective target in its field of view and the now-modulated wave returns to the radar gun. Understand that I said the most reflective target!

If the traffic cops sees a bright red Corvette coming down the road and the radar says he’s going 15 MPH over the limit, the Vette owner gets a ticket. Of course everyone knows that Corvette owners have lead feet.

But time after time on that lonely country highway we ran Corvettes at various speeds and various traffic configurations. We’d run the Corvette in front of a 9News microwave van and the radar gun almost always picked up on the van! A big van could be speeding up to a quarter mile behind the legally driven corvette and the speedgun pointed directly at the Corvette would come back with the speed the van was going.

Conversely, a speeding Corvette would often come back with a reading that bounced off the slow moving van. It’s because the radio signal bounces away from the sleek Corvette. But the flat front of the big truck reflects much more of the radio signal back to the traffic cop.

In other words, in many traffic configurations handing out proper speeding citations was not much more than a crap shoot.

My week-long TV series was highly controversial but won awards and the same experiment was duplicated by other TV News stations across the country.

All that being said, many police departments are now using laser speedguns which I highly respect. At least the officer gets a readout of the vehicle with the laser dot on its bumper.

Now, onto the HOA story. The police department in Canon City, Colorado has agreed to lend radar speedguns to volunteers from the Dawson Ranch Homeowners Association to check up on the speed their neighbors are going.

The terrifying ‘next step’ could be what some HOAs in Illinois are already allowed to do. They can physically arrest speeders. They can track speeding Home Depot trucks and assess fines against whatever homeowner was getting a delivery.

Putting police powers into the hands of famously incompetent and corrupt HOA board members is inexcusable.

(Canon City Police to put Radar Guns in Hands of HOAs)

 

Horrible House Color, & A Personal Memory

Paint your house the wrong shade and you’ll get death threats! It’s happening to a couple in Texas who got permission to paint their house blue, but when the shade of ‘blue’ wasn’t specified they painted it teal blue. Amazing.

(story in London Daily Mail of teal house fight)

It brings back memories of one of my biggest gaffes. My first house in Denver was a dirty canary yellow and after living there a few years I really wanted to change it. I hired a painter and picked out a shade of soft gray that I thought would be very elegant. Since I was working 15 hour days at the TV station I wasn’t there when the painter did the house.

My wife called me at work and said, “You’d better come home immediately, there’s trouble with the neighbors.”

I raced home to find about fifteen or twenty neighbors gathered in the street in front of my newly painted house. But Good Lord, there was my painted house. The painter had used the correct shade of paint, but that house looked for all the world like the blue color you might see on a beached dead, rotting whale. It was horrible.

I assured the crowd that I would re-paint the house immediately and the second paint job was started the very next day, this time in true soft gray. There was no Homeowners Association. No threats of liens or lawsuits. There didn’t need to be. I just did what any one of us would and should do.

Once in a while I drive through that neighborhood of thirty-five years ago. The house is still painted soft gray.

 

It Just Never Goes Away

I was watching a grandson’s football game this afternoon here in the Denver area. A familiar looking lady walked up to me and grabbed my arm. She said, “Remember me?”

Ugh! At age 66 I hate that question. So she reacted to my blank stare: “I was at your house several months ago and brought you a big box of records on your former Homeowners Association.”

Ah, yes, I got the connection. This lady and her husband were foster parents and they loved the neighborhood. Not knowing a thing about the national HOA scam, they blithely bought a house and moved in with three foster kids. Knowing how anti-minority, anti-Semitic and anti-queer this neighborhood is I wasn’t surprised she’d have trouble. She was in tears and I just didn’t have any good advice for her except to move out.

She says she was told by more than one HOA official “your kind isn’t appreciated in this neighborhood.” All her attempts to improve the exterior of her home were rejected. She and her husband were doing some interior improvements and she was told by a notorious lawyer who takes every opportunity to get on the board and stay there, that if even one nail is out of place he’ll force her to tear everything down.

Well, this HOA succeeded in driving her out of the neighborhood. She moved. And she said her new non-HOA home is a wonderful place where all the neighbors talk and get along. She did say she still loved this area and said she was going to inquire about whether some adjoining HOAs were any better.

“No!” I told her. I gave her the same old advice I give everyone. “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD HOA. EVERY ‘GOOD’ HOA IS JUST ONE VOTE AWAY FROM DISASTER!”

It’s true. It’s very sad, but it’s true.

Is Sex Assault Legal In Homeowners Associations?

Yes, that’s a weird question to ask. But a Saudi prince was arrested for assaulting several women at a party in his gated community home in Los Angeles. There’s lots of evidence against him and three women who claim they were victimized have filed a civil suit. But L.A. officials have decided there’s not enough evidence to charge him.

This prince and his family are worth billions. They’ll be able to pay off the women for sums of money that would seem grand to most of us. But it’s a pittance for those in the Saudi oil business.

On the other hand, the HOA might fine the prince for letting his lawn get too brown. But in the Beverly Hills Homeowners Association…life will go on as usual.

(link to LA Times story on Saudi prince)

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-saudi-prince-beverly-hills-20151019-story.html

 

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-saudi-prince-beverly-hills-20151019-story.html

The Flag, Just A Holiday Decoration!

Writing this blog is beginning to give me hives. I guess I’m just allergic to stupid people.

The self-proclaimed dictator of the Chestnut Place Homeowners Association in Murray, Utah, says she’s tired of looking at American flags and she’s beginning to fine homeowners who display them.

You think I’m making this stuff up? Come on, guys! You know I’m not.

HOA president Lyn Steinbergen says the flag is only a holiday decoration and needs to come down after the ‘holiday.’ Mz. Steinbergen, you’re obviously an ignoramus when it comes to knowledge about the American flag and whether or not the display of the flag is covered under multiple state and Supreme Court decisions. Yes, I’m prejudiced against your mindless stance because I have a number of family members who gave their lives for that flag. They also gave their lives to protect your right to be an idiot. If you honestly think it’s merely a holiday decoration then I brand you a brainless neighborhood ditz who deserves to be recalled as soon as enough signatures are collected.

(link to story in the Washington Times)

Additional note: Deborah Goonan is so sharp. She’s always miles ahead of me on updates.

(update on flag dispute)