Blossom Park Condo in FL plagued by crime, drugs, and multiple code violations
In the festive spirit of the season, I thought it was time for a little HOA Humor. Here’s my list of how to have a little fun, stir up a bit of conflict, and make yourself infamous in the eyes of your HOA Board. Warning: could be hazardous to your health and your bank account. In the comments section, feel free to add suggestions of your own!
Paint your front door purple, without getting approval from the architectural control committee.
Leave your garbage can out on the curb more than 24 hours after trash pick up.
Swap out your thirsty landscape for a xeriscape. Or plant herbs or vegetables.
Fly the American flag, upside down, on a pole that is 6” too tall.
Display the wrong kind of plants or “unauthorized objects” in your flowerpot on your porch or patio.
Hang window coverings that are any color other than pure white on the side facing outside.
Allow children to play in the yard, and leave some toys on the front lawn.
Refuse to submit a DNA sample of your pet pooch.
Ask to see financial documents.
Insist that the Board get at least three competitive bids for contracts, instead of going with the same contractor, year after year, despite poor service.
And, finally, display the holiday décor of your choice, even religious symbols, inflatable snowmen, and blinking lights!
There’s nothing that angers an HOA board or management company more than the discovery that a homeowner believes in Jesus or the Virgin Mary. Well, I take it back, any expression of belief in Judaism also pops their gaskets.
Enock and Ines Berluche, a couple in the Shingle Creek Reserve in Kissimmee, Florida have been battling their HOA over the past year because the HOA says it doesn’t allow yard statuary. You couldn’t tell that by driving through the neighborhood, of course. Lots of homeowners violate the “no yard art” rule with garden frogs, cherubs and statues of Greek goddesses showing (can I say it?) bare boobs. There was even an ‘illegal’ fountain on the lawn of the HOA president.
But when a new homeowner requested permission to put up small statues of The Virgin Mary and Jesus they were denied.
After media publicity and threats of discrimination lawsuits the Shingle Creek Reserve board finally got religion. They reversed themselves and allowed Mary and Jesus to stay. The only tragic part of the story is that the couple had to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees just to assert their rights. But that’s the story with most HOAs. It’s not about the rules or rights. It’s all about harrassment and humiliation of homeowners who don’t toe the line.
I’m going to slip into the religion zone for just a minute. But for you non-believers, just wait. It’s for you too.
When Jesus was asked about the most important commandments, the first was “Love your God with all your heart.”
When asked about the second he said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself. There are no greater commandments than those.” He actually said that!
Sooo, let’s go full circle and jump forward a couple thousand years to a scientific study of more than 5000 people and their health and general well-being. It seems like there’s a pretty solid connection between heart health and the amount of strife with neighbors.
I’ll leave the finer points of the study up to you in the link below. In the meantime, I’m using both hands and both sets of toes to count up the number of cancer and heart disease patients in my own HOA neighborhood!