Since becoming the sole caregiver of a loved one a few years ago, I’ve had to spend a little time in the kitchen trying to learn to cook. I passionately hate cooking. Recipes always seem suspiciously like the semester of chemistry I flunked in high school.
But in the past few years I’ve been amazed at the number of folks who know nothing about paper bag-baked turkeys.
My mother, God rest her soul, didn’t know any other way of cooking a turkey. You basically prepare the Thanksgiving bird in your favorite way. Open a brown paper bag, grab a stick of butter with your hand and smear it all over the inside of the bag. Then slide the turkey in and tightly seal the bag.
No, the bag won’t catch fire. And after the appropriate time in the oven you’ll taste an incredibly moist turkey.
Speaking of shopping bags, communities around the country are beginning to pass laws which essentially fine shoppers who ask for paper or plastic. But I promise you this: You cannot cook a turkey in a canvas reusable bag. Buttered or not.
Things are heating up in Jacksonville, Florida! The orders have been issued: Pay $35 per dog to DNA test your pooches‘ poop or pay a $100 per day penalty and lose your rights to the amenities. The max is $1,000 in fines, but the board is lawyering-up so they’ll be adding lots of zeros to that number.
When was the last time you heard of an HOA or condo complex that wasn’t having a dog poop fight?
This subject is a “hot button” for me. Why? Not only is it unsightly, but the run–off is bad for the ecosystem when it rains and washes the fecal matter into the waterways. (see the link below). And there is no excuse for it!
I wonder? Would these same people who don’t pick-up after their dogs like it if they saw dirty baby diapers or a fully-loaded adult diaper lying out at the curb? No! They would be the first to raise hell! Just a few days ago, I walked across the grass only to realize the gut-wrenching smell in my truck was emanating from the soles of my brand new shoes, floor mat, garage floor, and left me with a nasty clean-up job. For a woman who owns no pets (but loves them) it really irked me.
For the eight years I’ve lived in an HOA, dog poop has been a massive problem. With no size restrictions, let me assure you some of these dogs could be fitted for a saddle. And their “monster muffins” could fill a five gallon bucket!
DNA testing won’t solve the problem. Those who leave it lying around will figure out a way to contaminate the evidence. Just like these folks in Villa Medici who are already plotting to haul it in from fields afar.
From my observation the dogs in HOAs are getting along better with each other than we humans do. Maybe…I should build one of those “Tiny Houses” on wheels and go live down at the dog pound?
In my new book, Neighbors at War, I delve deeply into the lust for power and how easy it is for seemingly normal homeowners to go crazy when they get their first taste of power over their neighbors. We’ve seen it among Nazi prison guards, we’ve seen it among those who guard our jails, we’ve seen it repeatedly in double-blind science experiments.
“Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.” (Lord Acton)
But Pennsylvanians, shattered by the recent “Cash for Kids” scandal are still trying to wrap their minds around this one. Two former judges, Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan, reportedly accepted millions of dollars in bribes from privately owned juvenile detention centers for sentencing thousands of juveniles to those institutions. “Good Lord!” you say. “Impossible!”
We’ve seen the stories: No mezuzah allowed on the doors of the Jewish. No angels standing in the rock garden in remembrance of the deceased. Now, it’s no Buddhist symbols or crosses in the flower garden for Chris Bumann who lives in the Covington Bridge HOA in Spring, Texas.
The First Amendment of the United States Constitution says the government cannot restrict our free exercise of religion. Yet, homeowners associations in Texas have a law that states they can regulate religious symbols at the homes of their members. EXCEPT, it also says they have to be in compliance with the Texas and United States Constitutions.
Finally, there may be a legitimate reason for a Homeowners Association! Some of my good friends will disagree, but it’s a free country. No, I take that back…it once was a free country.
Still, the story linked below might make you think some community rules might be needed, especially when former husbands and wives are feuding.
