erections ERUPTIONS IN ARIZONA!!!
Sorry. I guess my strike through function doesn’t work on headlines
But Arizona’s Bimbo eruptions are the new American Vesuvius. First comes the gas, then the pumice, finally the lava. And that’s how you make a volcano (take that, L. Ron Hubbard!)
Yes, it seems Michelle Ugenti, the Arizona Legislature’s permanently enshrined Bimbo, is now up to her lashy lush eyebrows in steamy sex mail with another, shall we say b-i-g fellow lawmaker. He must be big, because he doesn’t want any of this steam being released to the public. Divorce lawyers on both sides are going nuts, or at least crazy, trying to keep the lid on this simmering scandal. The Bimbo’s husband wants his hands on those emails but her attorney is arguing it’s personal business, and privileged legislative business to boot! Heck, we all know that legislators are constantly screwing the public. But these lawyers think that kind of activity is a private affair. Not so fast, wise guys! You can screw your lawyer, screw your paramour, BUT DO NOT SCREW THE TAXPAYER!
Take a bit of advice from an old investigative reporter who’s been through the courts in search of cell phone records before. Bimbo Ugenti’s lawyer is blowing, uh, er, smoke. Yeah, smoke. He’s wrong about Legislative privilege preventing the release of the Bimbo’s sexy texts. We proved that in Colorado. Our good old governor, our good old Denver Mayor both learned the hard way (ahem) that if a single dime of taxpayers’ money paid for cell phone bills or text messages, the voters had a right to see those records! An absolute right! They’re not private records if they traveled over a taxpayer funded phone system or if they traveled over a Legislative issued phone or device! Bimbo Ugenti is too much of a dumbo to keep her legislative account separate from her personal account. Forget the divorce arguments. Forget privacy arguments. FOLLOW THE MONEY! Use a newspaper or a TV station to sue for the Bimbo’s messages on behalf of the taxpayers of Arizona! We won in Colorado. You’ll win in Arizona.
Take my advice, and you’ll soon be able to officially name Arizona’s new Pompeii something like “Mt. Pompous-ass.”