Tag Archives: Neighbors At War: The Creepy Case Against Your Homeowners Association

Jerry Seinfeld Crushed by the Lemonade Nazis

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his family are the latest victims of the Neighborhood Nazis. He and his family were selling lemonade outside their suburban home to bring attention to their favorite charity, Baby Buggy. It provides clothing and other services to families in need.

But in stomps an angry neighbor saying cars are stopping at the side of the road to buy lemonade and motorists are having the nerve to contribute to the charity. In East Hampton Village that’s a crime tantamount to bank robbery.

Yes, the bullies are gradually taking over in America costing young people a chance to see what times were like in the good old days.

What a shame. What a horrible shame.

(link to East Hampden Press story on Seinfeld getting shut down by cops)

 

Chesney Golf Club Assault in Tennessee

Hypothetical question: Is it really wrong to beat your Homeowners Association president with a golf club? Wait! Before you get mad, I really raised that question just to amuse you. Some might say, “Nah, that’s never wrong.” But of course it is.

Our latest story of HOA violence involves the father of famed country singer Kenny Chesney. He’s been arrested for beating his HOA president. I’m not sure what his defense will be, but it looks like he’d had enough from this board official and just lost his temper. He’ll probably plead temporary insanity, which is what most suspects in HOA violence do. That’s a pretty good defense for him because about two million HOA homeowners would probably corroborate the fact that HOA bullies really can drive you insane.

(link to Austin 360 and the Chesney arrest)

 

Trump’s Take on HOAs

Yep, it’s a question a lot of us have been asking: With The Donald being such a high-powered real estate developer, what does he think about owner associations? After all, he creates the covenants for all the condos he sells.

His take, linked below, is extremely interesting.

(link to Virginia blog on Trump and condo associations)

 

Drones! Drones! Drones!

I should charge money for psychic readings!  It was four or five years ago that I began predicting the advent of drones and that they would eventually be cheap enough for the boards of Homeowners Associations to start using them to inspect the most private part of your property. Your nude sunbathing or hot tub trysts could be played on the TV set at the HOA clubhouse and you probably wouldn’t win a legal case.

Well, so far I’m batting about 90% so far. The drones are here. They cost as little a four hundred bucks. And they’re popping up in thousands and thousands of places. Realtors are using them to advertise homes and neighborhoods. Terrorists are using them to interfere with commercial aircraft. Voyeurs are using them to videotape you and your lover on the backyard blanket. The FAA only controls drones in airspace over 1000 feet.

Privacy? Fugeddaboutit!

There’ve been a number of cases where homeowners have shot drones out of the air. The shooters usually end up being arrested and jailed. But it’s a whole new area of developing law and will probably take a decade or more to resolve. In the meantime even if a jury finds you not guilty you will have expended hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees.

(link to shoot a drone, go to jail, do not collect $200. It ain’t Monopoly money, folks!)

 

Gender Discrimination in Boulder HOA

The Boulder Weekly is not really known as a bastion of fine journalism. An example is linked below where the reporter could really have done some better research.

The story is about Knollwood Village Homeowners Association, a tiny HOA just a five minute walk from the University of Washington Campus. The CC&Rs say renting a home in the HOA is limited to a single married couple only and immediate family members.

Well, since this year’s Supreme Court ruling the definition of ‘marriage’ no longer exists. The definition of ‘family’ no longer exists. Whether right or wrong that’s the functional result of the ruling. So a marriage or a family is anything a person, or his partner, or his or her multiple partners are say it is.

Yes, this HOA restriction against unmarried people living in Knollwood is illegal. No, the HOA can’t do anything about it. The City of Boulder is giving the complaint about three minutes worth of lip service. But anti-discrimination laws are the same under Boulder ordinances as they are in federal law and federal court decisions.

Knollwood Village? You lose.

(link to story in Boulder Weekly)