Tag Archives: Neighbors At War: The Creepy Case Against Your Homeowners Association

Goats Going Great Guns on HOA Grass!

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Egads, the stories we’ve done on doggie DNA!

Many HOA neighborhoods are demanding that all dogs in the neighborhood have their cheeks swabbed for DNA. That way, if an uninvited poop is deposited on the board president’s lawn, he can send it to the lab and then have the dog owner nailed with a fine, lawsuit and foreclosure because of the ‘errant doodle doo doo.’

In the meantime, the Japanese (clever people, huh?) are hiring herds of goats to do the mowing in their Homeowners Associations. I’ve long advocated using goats for lawn mowers. The City of Denver has done it successfully for years. Herds of goats are efficient common area grass munchers. And their methane isn’t nearly as awful as the gas fumes put out by gasoline powered mowers.

Ah yes, and goats are far more cuddly than your run-of-the-mill Briggs and Stratton.

More power (bad pun) to the Japanese!

(click here for Japanese lawn munchers)

 

WANTED: Hair Stylist With Tree Extension Experience

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guest blog by Nila Ridings

If hair can be lengthened how about trees?

Quick! We need tree extensions in River Grove at Merritt Island, Florida before Pat Fitzgerald rips his Magnolias from the earth! His HOA is fining him $5000 because a couple of Magnolia trees he planted were too short. He’s already spent $1500 in an effort to mediate this idiotic dispute. Miracle Grow doesn’t work fast enough for this HOA board.

So, kiss those trees good-bye, Pat. Don’t you know you’ve destroyed all the property values in your neighborhood?

That’s right, Richard Rahn of the River Grove HOA board says Pat’s short trees have got to go! Yes, go! Not grow! I’m thinking things were better when board members didn’t make public comments. Because now that this board member has spoken out, HOAs everywhere should change their by-laws requiring elected officers to have an IQ of at least 50!

Pat never dreamed his military service during The Gulf War was going to be matched by the danger of growing trees in his front yard. But insanity never ceases to exist in HOAs!

Oh boy! Will it ever end?

(click here for KMBC story)

 

Is It The Kids? Or Their Race?

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I never want to jump too quickly on the ‘race bandwagon,’ but this one is really weird. The story is from Northern California.

The Tennis Villas at Blackhawk Homeowners Association has banned the three children of a mixed race couple from playing outside, from trick-or-treating and from using any of the common areas in the gated neighborhood. Seth and Carolynn Neri say their children have been ‘targeted’ by the HOA. One of their sons wrote a letter to all thirty neighbors introducing himself and asking them to change their minds about the ‘no playing’ rule. Two letters came back marked, “No!” and “No Way! Move.”

The Neris’ lawyer says the actions are in violation of federal housing law and a lawsuit has been filed against Tennis Villas and Community Association Management. The lawsuit alleges that the president of the HOA board told the Neris that some people in the neighborhood were upset that the new family was a mixed race couple.

The HOA board and its management company have not returned phone calls to the media.

Believe it. They never will.

But when those thirty neighbors start paying special assessments for all the legal bills and inevitable federal fines and civil judgments they’ll soon be racking up, they might get the message.

(click here for story from Contra Costa Times)

 

Farmers Define Community

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guest blog by Nila Ridings
 
There is a lot to be said for not living stacked on top of your neighbors. Or close enough to notice the color tint on their front door is two shades too dark and their garage door has been up longer than the fifteen minute limit.
 
Homeowners Associations chant their mantra of what great communities they create.  Real estate agents “accidentally” fail to mention the lawsuits, loans the board signed for, failed maintenance, and decade-old work orders collecting dust on a shelf.  No sir, those things are all out of sight and out of mind as they tour you past the lovely flower beds and pools, and through the clubhouse with it’s recently installed wood floors.
 
But peel all that away and you see the brutal truth:  HOAs are more like living in a war zone. 
 
Farmers don’t live in HOAs.  They can’t see the front door of the farmer 1/2 mile down the road.  Farmers not only feed us but they teach us a great deal about community.  This Carson, Iowa town of farmers came together to help harvest Phil Killinger’s crops when he was stricken with liver cancer.  And Terry Gleaves loves his farmer neighbor so much it’s difficult for him to cope with the illness of his friend.
 
This is what community is all about.  These good folks saw a need and without hesitation they pulled together, worked together, and made a difference together. They created a WIN WIN WIN situation.  
 
At the end of the day, this is what HOAs should be patterned after.  Instead, they’ve spent 40 years building up to the battle grounds they are today.  
 
And THAT has made all the difference!
 
 

“It’s Almost Like Communism!”

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Yep, Lady. That’s what it is. Welcome to Communist Amerika.

These stories just make me physically ill. The Masterson Station Neighborhood Association in Lexington, Kentucky, decided that a 75 year German immigrant didn’t deserve her home. So they took it. And they sold it. Now they’re booting her out to the curb.

Ingrid Boak thought the whole thing was a mistake. An oversight. But Ingrid, you’ve learned there is a fascist, communist side to the United States. Most of us deny that, of course, and we all like to pretend it’s still a free country.

Ingrid bought her home in 2007 for $125,000 cash. She didn’t realize the Homeowners Association was mandatory. She thought the dues were for the local swimming pool which she never used. So when the notices arrived at her house she thought it was junk mail. The neighborhood was demanding $48 per year but she thought it was just solicitations for things in which she didn’t participate.

Ingrid first noticed something was wrong when she found a note taped to her door saying she didn’t live there any more, and that someone bought her house at auction for $93,500.

“How can my house be sold without my permission, or without me having something in my hand?” Ingrid asks. “It’s almost like Communism.”

Nathan Billings, attorney for the Masterson Station Neighborhood Association said they were unaware anyone lived at the house. Strange, because the whole neighborhood, including a police officer next door, all knew she was living there.

Anyway, after the auction the money was divided up among the HOA, the attorneys, and the Master Commissioner. Oh, and they kicked some of the money toward Ingrid, although it was tens of thousands less than she had paid for her house.

Now this may be way out of line, but sometimes I do say things without measuring the consequences. The thought of these guys huddling around dividing up Ingrid’s stuff just reminds me of a Biblical scene, where Roman soldiers stood around after the Crucifixion divvying up Jesus’ garments.

(click here from story from Lex18)

Property Manager, Dana 859-246-0911 

Office hours, Mon-Wed 9am-3pm, Thurs 11am-7pm 
 
President, Jeff Crabb 859-252-5497, jdcrabb@hotmail.com 
Vice President, Greg Stanforth, gregnmasterson@netzero.com 
Secretary, Lori Hindenlang, lhindenlang@yahoo.com 
Treasurer, Mark Treesh, marktreesh@juno.com 
 
Todd Cox, etatau73@hotmail.com 
Veronica Herst, Veronicaherst.msna@yahoo.com 
Jeremy Slade, Jdslade.lxms@@yahoo.com 
 
 For all Board Members: board@mastersonstation.org