Many HOA neighborhoods are demanding that all dogs in the neighborhood have their cheeks swabbed for DNA. That way, if an uninvited poop is deposited on the board president’s lawn, he can send it to the lab and then have the dog owner nailed with a fine, lawsuit and foreclosure because of the ‘errant doodle doo doo.’
In the meantime, the Japanese (clever people, huh?) are hiring herds of goats to do the mowing in their Homeowners Associations. I’ve long advocated using goats for lawn mowers. The City of Denver has done it successfully for years. Herds of goats are efficient common area grass munchers. And their methane isn’t nearly as awful as the gas fumes put out by gasoline powered mowers.
Now that I’m out of and away from the Colorado flood I’m watching aerial video of the damage. I’ve seen some bad disasters in my life, but nothing like this one. This single cloudburst caused damage across Eastern Colorado from the Wyoming border to the New Mexico border.
Colorado has about 8000 Homeowners Associations, many of them in eastern Colorado, right in the flood ravaged areas. At some point, all those HOA members are going to be told they don’t qualify for disaster relief since the federal government considers Homeowners Associations and co-ops to be non-profit private associations where ‘homeowners’ are actually shareholders or groups of investors in a neighborhood and its common areas. They can still apply for federal loans, but by living in an HOA they have removed themselves from the ability to get federal aid.
It’s so much fun to a see a prediction come true. For several years, now, I’ve been talking about the coming wave of inexpensive drones; flying machines equipped with incredibly clear spy cams. They’re light as a feather and designed to be astoundingly invasive. If you and your gal pal or boy toy use the backyard Jacuzzi at midnight, understand that your underwater antics are going to be displayed at the monthly HOA board meeting. From five hundred feet in the air you’ll be able to count the freckles on your lover’s shoulders. At night!
20,000 people a month are now logging into NeighborsAtWar.com. I like to keep you up to date on what’s going on in ‘HOA Amerika’, but keeping track of it all is a daunting job. So I want to invite each of you to consider doing a guest blog on situations with which you’re familiar.
Just a warning: I’m a tough taskmaster. After 40 years of investigative reporting and television news editing, I want total control over the final edited product. That’s because I have to take responsibility for what we publish. And I want to make sure each guest blog is short, pithy, to the point, and has punch. It has to be absolutely factual, and whenever possible, it has to link to an original published source. This helps keep us out of legal hot water.
I always love to blog about, and link to, Darcy Spears and the HOA Hall of Shame feature she does for KTNV television in Las Vegas. She was one of the first television reporters in the nation to regularly investigate and expose the wrongdoings of Homeowners Associations. Of course, the criminal empire in Las Vegas generously provides her with lots of material. Nevada has some of the most notoriously felonious HOAs in the country, as evidenced by the dozens of indictments in the ongoing FBI/U.S. Attorney investigation.
