Category Archives: chickens

The New Code Word: Gentrified

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Yes, that’s pretty much the new code word for Homeowners Associations: Gentrified or Gentrification. And it’s the word of the day in Denver where brand new HOAs or condo associations are trying get rid of some homeless shelters and rescue missions. The missions have been in the lower downtown Denver area almost forever. But Coors Field changed everything.

The now-famous home of Colorado Rockies baseball was built where land was cheap, right at the intersection of skid road and the nation’s central railroad hub. The rescue missions continued to do their work but suddenly the ‘gentrified’ wanted to live near the ball park. Century-old slaughter houses were turned into luxury condos. A two-bedroom setup where cows were once butchered can now cost millions of dollars.

The bums still lie around on the streets where they always did. The City of Denver issued a permit for one mission to improve its homeless shelter. But the ‘Newly Gentrified’ went nutz and took the whole mess to court. The judge issued his order this week. Gentrification is in. Bums are out.

(link to Denver Post story on HOAs vs. the homeless)

 

Embezzlement Allegations

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Well, prosecutors in San Mateo finally nailed a 64 year old HOA manager. She’s accused of embezzling 2.8 million dollars from the Woodlake Homeowners Association. She’s facing a growing heap of charges while police continue to investigate her partner.

Suspect Susan Marie Lambert

My question is, how the heck do you steal nearly three million dollars from a bunch of condo owners? Do you just assume that because they live in condos they must be stupid? Let me put that loss in actual numerals:  $2,800,000.00! Where do you hide it? It can’t be in your pillowcase. It can’t even be under your bed. It would completely fill one of those condo units you supervise!

The big hoot in the story linked below is a quote from Chief Deputy D.A. Karen Guidotti, who says, “It’s obviously an enormous embezzlement. We certainly don’t see them of this magnitude very often.”

Well, Deputy Dawg. You’d better take off those rose-colored glasses and start looking across America. Denver, Colorado, Overland Park, Kansas, Las Vegas, Nevada, just about anywhere in Texas or Pennsylvania, Virginia or Florida. Really, 2.8 million dollars is just an average take in the HOA embezzlement business.

(link to HOA embezzlement story from San Mateo Journal)

 

Legalized Grass

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In Florida, it’s an HOA turf war. St. Augustine turf.

Many HOAs mandate the stuff even though it soaks up water, isn’t native to Florida,  demands pesticides and dies anyway. But if your St. Augustine gets a little bit brown there’s likely a big fine in the works by the Homeowners Association. Many homeowners have been begging for the chance to plant more environmentally friendly lawns, but the arrogance of many HOA boards is beyond description.

“You knew the rules before you bought into this HOA,” they scream. We’ve all heard that. We all know that. But if the EPA ever declared Homeowners Associations to be an illegal toxic chemical many of us would be a lot better off.

(link to Florida story on battle over grass)

 

 

 

Backyard Chickens? NIMBY! NIMBY! NIMBY!

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Whew! The racket coming from Clay County, Florida is pretty funny. The county is considering an ordinance that would allow homeowners to own up to four chickens apiece, just no roosters.

Backyard chickens are a growing fad all over the country. But three Homeowners Associations on Fleming Island are kicking up a fuss. They don’t mind chickens elsewhere, but just no chickens where gentrified people can see them. The excuses they give (in the story linked below) are pretty amusing. They’re afraid if a dog sees a chicken and jumps the fence it might injure a child. (Huh?) They’re also afraid a county ordinance would supersede their contractual covenant rights. (It won’t.)

But the squawking and henpecking is really something to behold.

I’ve got a great solution for chicken lovers. Just release a truckload of chickens and roosters into the middle of these HOAs. If you’ve ever vacationed on Kauai you’ve undoubtedly seen some of the tens of thousands of chickens and roosters running wild. Seems a hurricane or two knocked down their pens and they’ve been breeding faster than anyone can hunt them. The screeching and crowing is beyond description.

To me, that sounds like it would be a hoot!

(link to story on Florida chicken controversy)

 

 

“Every HOA Should Be Worried”

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Yep, that’s the quotable quote emerging from an HOA scandal in Anne Arundel County, Maryland.

Residents of the Russett Community Association voted to throw out the top two board members who homeowners claimed were misusing HOA funds. True to form, the two board members voted that the recall elections weren’t valid because they weren’t approved by the board. Then they fought the recall election in court, and of course they spent neighborhood dues money to pay for their own defense. It happens in thousands of HOAs across the country!

Power play in Russett: But many residents unaffected by battle over community leadership

In this case, though, a judge ordered that the two board bullies step down from their positions. They’re not going easily, though. They’ve squandered anywhere from 80 to 100,000 bucks and more in dues money to fight the homeowners in court.

Those of us ‘in the know’ just shake our heads in wonder.

(link to HOA scandal in Capital Gazette)