Category Archives: Animals

Astounding Honey Bee Deaths!

I’ve debated with myself long and hard over the story I’m about to tell you. It really zeroes in on a personal situation I faced with an HOA bully. I swore I would keep the story to myself until I read today’s article about America’s tragic loss of honey bees. Forty percent of all honey bees in the country died last year. Forty percent!

(link to 40% loss of honey bees in just one year)

You cannot imagine how important honey bees are to our agriculture and our very survival as a species. Man just can’t do what bees do for us. Without bees there is no produce in your grocery store. None!

Now, my personal story. I own some acreage in Colorado adjacent to a Homeowners Association. Several years ago, a teenager who raises bees and produces honey for a hobby asked if he could place a half dozen bee hives on my property. There’s no way I would have refused him. For several years the hives were thriving and pollinating vegetation for miles around.

Last year I was away at a publishers’ conference when I got an angry call from a typical HOA bully. He demanded I remove the hives immediately. Mystified at his sudden rage I asked him why? Believe it or not, this guy said “Your bees are drinking from my wife’s pond!”

This is not a joke. Despite the fact that there are several bee keepers within a four mile radius of this property, MY bees were drinking from his pond!

I guess I shouldn’t have ignored him because a few days later every single one of the bee hives was dead. Stone cold dead in just one night. I seriously doubt they died that suddenly from natural causes.

Disaster Relief for HOA Members? Ha!

I’m linking to the CAI site only for the purpose of backing up a previous blog.

If you are living in a Homeowners Association which experiences a weather or earthquake disaster, don’t count on getting federal help of any kind. An HOA member hit by a flood is not considered a homeowner, but an investor in a corporation. When 20,000 homes were damaged in the Boulder flood two years ago, many homeowners discovered they were flat out of luck. Those inside HOAs found that FEMA wouldn’t help them and they couldn’t get federal loans. They couldn’t buy federal flood insurance either because they didn’t live inside recognized flood zones. Who knew Boulder Creek could ever launch that big a flood?

We learned recently thatĀ if HOA boards in California don’t buy earthquake insurance for the whole community, then individual homeowners can’t get coverage either.

CAI reports that a couple of Democratic Congress members have made some progress in getting the feds to help Homeowners Associations badly hit by Hurricane Sandy.

CAI’s press release is about as dishonest and disingenuous as they come. What they should really be talking about is not about federal exemptions, but about the fact that the very membership of an HOA in CAI is a red flag to the feds. You HOA members are investors, NOT HOMEOWNERS!!!

(link to CAI press release)

 

A Good Reason for an HOA?

I will certainly concede that I wouldn’t like living across the street from this guy. Still, I suspect that many victims of HOA abuse would rather live next to this house than next to the bullies who run much of HOA Amerika.

The God of Poop!

Poop. Feces. Droppings. Excrement. Cow pies. Dung. Guano. Meadow Muffin. Stool.

Do you realize that humans have hundreds and hundreds of different words for this little bit of matter that is so disgusting to us? It’s almost as if we worship it. Who invented such awful substance? God did. It’s the ultimate recylable material. And you would be stunned to know that every speck of this stuff, depending upon which species deposited it, has an entire ecosystem which depends on getting a steady supply.

Next time you visit the Gulf Coast or the Caribbean and you stretch out on those warm white sands just remind yourself that 70 percent of that white sand was once pooped out by parrot fish. Each parrot fish poops out about 200 pounds of white sand a year! Look it up!

On the other side of the coin, at least a thousand Homeowners Associations are now running madly through their neighborhoods collecting DNA samples from every dog in the hood, and sending each harvested dog pile to the lab to be matched to the offending pooch. The owner then gets a fine of say, $500 per pile. Someone more clever than I might come up with a good name for a new TV reality show. “CSI Poopami,” or possibly, “PoopNet-HOA.”

Now, I’m a dog owner. I carry all the appropriate plastic bags and gloves because I want to be a good neighbor. At the same time I find all this poop hysteria to be hysterically stupid.

All it would take to thwart the system is to organize a neighborhood Poop Brigade to collect hundreds of samples and dump them all on the HOA president’s lawn. Let him pay the fines.

BTW, if you do that, definitely send me pictures that I can publish!

(latest poop from the Seattle P.I.)

 

Strange but True, and Twice as Funny

A landmark in the town of Fountain, Colorado has been stolen. It’s a relief for some but others are dismayed.

Several years ago when the Cody Driver family built their house, the neighborhood HOA required that he name his road and put up a street sign. I’m not sure what frustration led to the naming of his road, but it quickly became a landmark:

“A Dog Will Lick His Butt, But He Won’t Eat A Pickle Road”

It became a legend on the Internet. People drove from a thousand miles away to visit and get their picture taken with the sign. But it’s gone now. Somebody stole it.

(KRDO story on famous Colorado street sign)