Category Archives: Handicap

Starting a New Month

      14 Comments on Starting a New Month

OK, some straight talk, here. We have a ton of people coming to this website. Those people are reading an average of 250,000 to 300,000 pages of our material each month. BUT THAT DOESN’T CUT IT!

Those of you who’ve read my book, Neighbors At War, know that it has a tremendous amount of important material that never makes it onto this website. You also know that my book is important for all homeowners, inside and outside of Homeowners Associations. (It’s also a fun read!) I happen to know that a lot of libraries carry my book and it’s frequently loaned to other libraries across the country. That’s pretty good traction. I know, however, that I haven’t sold my book to all of you yet.

So….

During the month of June I’m going to GIVE my book to you FREE. Well, let me partially retract that. If you can honestly say you haven’t purchased my book because you are destitute and if you’ll pay for the postage and the envelope (approximately five bucks) I will send it to you for free. Geez, what other author has ever offered you THAT kind of deal? Oh yes, one other caveat: Once you finish the book you must make at least one other homeowner read it.

The information it contains is far more valuable than the paltry publishing royalties I get.

That’s all the huckstering… for now.

 

Blue State Blues

      1 Comment on Blue State Blues

Ever since I started using this website to try to hawk my book, Neighbors At War, I’ve been told by well-meaning friends and relatives, don’t ever attack Oregon. That state is so Blue it has a built-in guilt complex. Personal guilt hangs so heavy in the air in Oregon that these blue state leftists walk around in their hair shirts (see self-abuse by Monasteries) and lash their own backs with whips. It’s not the rainy weather that depresses them, it’s the load of guilt on their shoulders. I was promised I would never find a case of embezzling from neighbors in an Oregon Homeowners Association.

I should have obeyed my instincts. My heart tells me that mankind is desperately wicked and that all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God. I was right. My Oregonian friends (God love ’em), were wrong.

Comes, now, an attractive young fellow named David Kobbeman. The newspaper headline doesn’t mince words…. “Sentenced to 48 months in prison.”

There’s no way of telling how many widows he made penniless by embezzling a half million from his HOA. No way of telling how many bright-eyed youngsters will now not be able to afford college. And no way of telling how many sick babies might have found medical cures if their parents could have sold their homes and belongings to pay for new treatments.

The maddening thing….the damnably maddening thing I learned in my forty years as an investigative TV reporter is that the felons who have the absolutely most fun in federal prison are con-men. They are the king of the heap. Every criminal looks up to the con man. Every bank robber and baby molester makes a pilgrimage to the con-man’s cell. He IS THE KING!  The con-man is KING OF THE PRISON! He gets the best food, he gets the first cigarettes, he gets the best women!

Oooh, I guess I might have said a little too much, there. But yes, the con man gets the best women. Are there women in prison? That’s one of the secrets you learn if you’ve spent any time with a buddy who did a sentence at Lompoc or at another low security prison. If you’re high up in the ranks of prisoners, if you’re a con-man, you’re the warden’s good buddy. And yes, you’re occasionally taken into town to meet the ladies. And that warden wants to be seen around town with you.

Bottom line: spend your time swindling money from widows and orphans. When you’re jailed you be assured of having the best damn vacation of your life.

Believe it!

(Ok, now here’s the straight unvarnished, sanitized news:)

 

Oh Lordy, I Do Love My Readers!

      2 Comments on Oh Lordy, I Do Love My Readers!

How the heck do you keep finding such wonderful stories?!? I’m only a pajama-clad blogger sitting in my bedroom at night trying to find stories here and there that might amuse you. But you folks are so much better than I.

Wow!

A Statue of Liberty with glowing eyes!

An embarrassed and angry HOA!

And a new round of stupidity for the terminally stupid.

Lon Neuville,  homeowner in the Debary Plantation HOA got permission from his HOA to put up a replica of the Statue of Liberty. “Whatever,” the HOA said.

Well, boy howdy, if this statute didn’t jolt a few dim bulbs loose from their sockets. “Permission to put up the statue, denied!” the Florida HOA board said.

“Not so fast, ya dingbats,” DeBary said. “You gave me permission and now you’re saying you didn’t?”

“Well, we had no idea your Statue of Liberty was going to have those electrical glowing eyes!”

What a hoot! Now, both sides are hunkering down with lawyers. And the lawyers, ever the crocs in this bug-infested swamp, plan on taking a big financial bite out of both sides.

Chomp, chomp!

(link to Lady Liberty story)

 


Read more: http://www.myfoxphilly.com/story/24633092/debary-man-battles-hoa-over-lady-liberty-statue#ixzz32ygz066W

 

 

 

Trustworthy and Tamper-Proof HOA/Condo Board Elections?

      10 Comments on Trustworthy and Tamper-Proof HOA/Condo Board Elections?
guest blog by Bob Frank (Air Force Col. Retired)

 

It is a fact that CID board elections are the ONLY way that members can actually influence the management of their common properties and finances.  And, since candidates for boards and members of community management companies are not routinely cleared as trustworthy according to government standards, the election processes themselves MUST be provable as being “trustworthy/tamper-proof” by the association members.

Therefore, I submit it should be mandatory that secret ballot board elections implement (1) audit-trails, (2) use “tamper-proof” devices, (3) be certified as end-to-end trustworthy, and (4) be capable of independent auditing by licensed, trained professionals.

And, I claim that any board election that can not be auditable as trustworthy should be invalid.  Why would government officials and trade association professionals be allowed to tolerate potentially corrupt board elections?

Should the trade association adopt the following or similar terms and require that all HOA/Condo board elections follow such definitions and implement “trustworthy board elections” capable of being audited by 3rd party professionals?

Or, should board elections be taken away from CID boards and management companies and that there be a new licensed and bonded, “Independent Trusted Elections Professional” be required on a part time basis by state statutes as auditors and attorney are?

Am I on the right track for this topic?  Do you agree it is likely possible to conduct such improvements in CID elections at reasonable costs?  If you wish, I can explain how I would design such a system using hard-copy and/or electronic processes.

Bob Frank

Cohen The Bully Has Arrived At Two Midtown Miami

      1 Comment on Cohen The Bully Has Arrived At Two Midtown Miami
guest blog by Nila Ridings
 
Seth Cohen arrived from New York with $1.5M to spend on a condo in South Florida.  He impressed his neighbors with his swagger which won him enough votes to sit on the board as their president.  
 
Looking around he decided Two Midtown Miami needed more of his “touch” in its decor.  Even though the building was only five years old the elevators got a facelift and the pool furniture was pitched for something more expensive. 
 
Next, on his list was the lobby renovation with some “Munsters” chairs and bookshelves that sent his neighbors out to the curb in protest.  In typical COA dictatorship style, he called the police only to learn his neighbors were smarter than he thought because they had obtained a protesters permit.  
 
Supporters started dropping like rocks and the “Fresh Prince of Two Midtown Miami” quickly earned the title of bully! His neighbors wanted to feed him lunch with their assessment letters. He was demanding $6,844.27 from each owner to cover the cost of his grandiose decorating plans until the uprising raised awareness to the point they were demanding he be removed from the board. I applaud them!!! based on my HOA experience, I’m wondering if seth Cohen is in the “decorating business?” Wash he slick enough to try and recoup his condo investment with some high-priced re-decorating?
This should be an eye-opener for all owners in HOAs or condos. Redecorating projects can quickly turn into an ATM for board members. If you don’t keep a close watch they will declare re-decorating as a “necessity” and use their power as president to funnel the money right into THEIR bank accounts. It’s called self-dealing and in most states it’s illegal. Take if from me, it’s also a “red flag” warning. Once accomplished they will try it again on something else. like selling advertising in the community newsletter and claiming to be in the publishing business!