Category Archives: Humor

What’s In The Box?

guest blog by Nila Ridings 
 
Options for living in anything outside of an HOA always catch my eye!  This one is built to withstand a hurricane, can be made livable in one day, has a reduced carbon footprint, and a price tag affordable on a fast food income.
 
These Canadians are coming across the border with a new version of a concept that has been around for a few years.  This time with a basement option.
 
Looks like they truly have learned to think outside the box while making the inside quite attractive!
 
Just for fun, I’m wondering how would an HOA foreclose on a shipping container when it could disappear with a quick lift on the cable of a crane overnight?  That would give board members something new to sue over!
 
 
 

Over The Shoulder Boulder Holders Blowin’ In The Breeze!

guest blog by Nila Ridings
 
I can see em’ now.  Brassieres, boxers, briefs, granny panties, string bikinis, and jock straps—vibrant colors, florals, hearts, race cars, and stripes all environmentally drying in the faces of the neighbors!
 
If only I lived in AZ,CA, CO, FL, HI, IL, IN, LA, ME, MD, MA, NV, NM, NC, OR, TX, VT, WI, or VA!!!  I would have the longest clothes line you’ve ever seen.  My neighbors who video my every move would have something worthwhile on their tapes.  And their cronies would be running off to the cardiologist to up their dosage of beta blockers.
 
HOA members in these states, please UNITE!  Start saving on dryer energy today!  It’s the ONLY freedom you’ve got!
 
 
 

Darcy Spears Pitches A No-Hitter

Yes, it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out…..

And for a third time, Darcy Spears of KTNV TV has gone to the Southern Highlands Country Club area and learned it’s a community of frightened homeowners with a leadership of gangster-minded bullies. Maybe that just comes naturally for people who move to Las Vegas: Find out how to join the Mob! In her latest HOA Hall of Shame report she tries to locate the skunks who are trying to chase a black man out of the neighborhood.

Even though Louis Washington is one of the original residents of Southern Highlands, the HOA is demanding that he plant a couple of trees in his yard. Never mind that the country club just behind Washington’s house, has a few trees that clearly look like they’re dying, this monstrous HOA tyrant wants the homeowner to plant a tree right in front of his picture window, or they’ll fine him out of existence.

Darcy says this is the third time Southern Highlands has been on her Hall of Shame report, Readers of my book, Neighbors At War already know about Southern Highlands for the way it treats black families. Just go back and re-read chapter eight where I document the shameful history of Homeowners Associations and minorities. Southern Highlands is featured. In 2006, Troy McMullen, a reporter for The Wall Street Journal Online did an investigative story on how blacks are treated at Southern Highlands. It was called “Trouble in Paradise: Minorities Report Bias in Vacation areas.”

Some people just have no shame.

They’re too ignorant to have shame.

 http://tinyurl.com/mbcbgog

 One footnote: the management company which runs Southern Highlands brags that it sends out a thousand violation notices per month. Am I wrong, or does that sound a little fascist to you?

 

Frivolous. Idiotic. Probably Partially Insane.

Yes, sometimes I like to take my mind off of the national scam known as Homeowners Associations. But this is one of those rare departures you may always remember. You’ll make fun of me, of course, but it’s just a weird thing that occurred to me during a recent long, boring spell.

You’ve heard all the stories, of course, of Homeowners Associations that try to restrict your rights in incredible ways:  A Miami condo association that will sue you for ‘improper and offensive cooking odors’, e.g., cooking in a wok. And there are all those HOAs that have fined, liened or foreclosed upon homeowners who’ve tried to set up a backyard barbeque.

So, yes, you really can lose your home because of the wrong kind of cooking.

Which all leads to one of the most bizarre dinner parties I’ve ever had. Fortunately, the guests were mostly family. But if you ever try the following recipe, you’ll never do it another way!

Get two slices of aluminum foil about 24 inches long.

Take a fresh salmon steak, about a half inch thick and place it on one of the pieces of foil.

Squeeze an entire half of a lime over the salmon steak.

Put a pat of butter on the salmon.

Liberally sprinkle the salmon steak with salmon seasoning, garlic powder, salt, pepper, lemon/dill, chili powder, oregano.

Wrap the salmon steak, envelope style, in the aluminum wrap.

Turn the packet upside down, and wrap it again, envelope style, in the second sheet of foil.

Put however many salmon steaks you’ve prepared on the top rack of your dishwasher. Run the dishwasher through its entire regular cycle.

When the cycle is done, open all the foil envelopes and serve to your guests. It’ll be the best, most tender salmon you ever tasted!

Just don’t use that nasty wok. Or the barbeque. They’re too ethnic.