Category Archives: chickens

Bimbo erections Eruptions in Arizona!!!

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BIMBO erections ERUPTIONS IN ARIZONA!!!

Sorry. I guess my strike through function doesn’t work on headlines

But Arizona’s Bimbo eruptions are the new American Vesuvius. First comes the gas, then the pumice, finally the lava. And that’s how you make a volcano (take that, L. Ron Hubbard!)

Yes, it seems Michelle Ugenti, the Arizona Legislature’s permanently enshrined Bimbo, is now up to her lashy lush eyebrows in steamy sex mail with another, shall we say b-i-g fellow lawmaker. He must be big, because he doesn’t want any of this steam being released to the public. Divorce lawyers on both sides are going nuts, or at least crazy, trying to keep the lid on this simmering scandal. The Bimbo’s husband wants his hands on those emails but her attorney is arguing it’s personal business, and privileged legislative business to boot! Heck, we all know that legislators are constantly screwing the public. But these lawyers think that kind of activity is a private affair. Not so fast, wise guys! You can screw your lawyer, screw your paramour, BUT DO NOT SCREW THE TAXPAYER!

Take a bit of advice from an old investigative reporter who’s been through the courts in search of cell phone records before. Bimbo Ugenti’s lawyer is blowing, uh, er, smoke. Yeah, smoke. He’s wrong about Legislative privilege preventing the release of the Bimbo’s sexy texts. We proved that in Colorado. Our good old governor, our good old Denver Mayor both learned the hard way (ahem) that if a single dime of taxpayers’ money paid for cell phone bills or text messages, the voters had a right to see those records! An absolute right! They’re not private records if they traveled over a taxpayer funded phone system or if they traveled over a Legislative issued phone or device! Bimbo Ugenti is too much of a dumbo to keep her legislative account separate from her personal account. Forget the divorce arguments. Forget privacy arguments. FOLLOW THE MONEY! Use a newspaper or a TV station to sue for the Bimbo’s messages on behalf of the taxpayers of Arizona! We won in Colorado. You’ll win in Arizona.

Take my advice, and you’ll soon be able to officially name Arizona’s new Pompeii something like “Mt. Pompous-ass.”

(Link to Bimbo Ugenti’s troubles)

 

 

Starting a New Month

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OK, some straight talk, here. We have a ton of people coming to this website. Those people are reading an average of 250,000 to 300,000 pages of our material each month. BUT THAT DOESN’T CUT IT!

Those of you who’ve read my book, Neighbors At War, know that it has a tremendous amount of important material that never makes it onto this website. You also know that my book is important for all homeowners, inside and outside of Homeowners Associations. (It’s also a fun read!) I happen to know that a lot of libraries carry my book and it’s frequently loaned to other libraries across the country. That’s pretty good traction. I know, however, that I haven’t sold my book to all of you yet.

So….

During the month of June I’m going to GIVE my book to you FREE. Well, let me partially retract that. If you can honestly say you haven’t purchased my book because you are destitute and if you’ll pay for the postage and the envelope (approximately five bucks) I will send it to you for free. Geez, what other author has ever offered you THAT kind of deal? Oh yes, one other caveat: Once you finish the book you must make at least one other homeowner read it.

The information it contains is far more valuable than the paltry publishing royalties I get.

That’s all the huckstering… for now.

 

Some Non-HOA Hilarity

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Taking a radical departure from the regular topic in this blog, here’s a little humorous offering from comedian Tim Hawkins. He has a music degree and has played in Carnegie Hall. He uses his guitar to poke fun at institutions and conditions of life. In this bit he pokes wonderful fun at those of us who are getting older:

(link to Tim Hawkins concert)

Now, if we could just get Tim Hawkins to write a series of HOA songs!

 

Stupid, Stupid Legislators

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We’ve talked in this forum about some very stupid legislators, idiots in Arizona, California, Virginia and Florida who thought they were doing the right thing when their actions were absolutely against the interests of homeowners. But wait’ll you hear this one.

With all the emphasis on energy conservation and carbon output would you ever believe that an entire state would begin penalizing homeowners who install solar panels or rely on wind energy? Would you ever think such penalties would pass through a Legislature without debate?

Me, neither.

But welcome to Oklahoma.

I have friends in Oklahoma. I respect the intelligence of Oklahomans. It’s really a sophisticated state with great schools and doctors, businessmen, inventors and developers. But hold your breath as I spring this one on you.

The Oklahoma Legislature, without discussion, has passed a measure to assess (read that “fine”) any homeowner in the future who installs solar panels on his house!  And it most likely will be signed into law by the Governor. We’ve certainly heard of the idiocy of Homeowners Associations which sink their fangs into homeowners who install solar. But the State of Oklahoma?

Give me a frickin’ break!

Solar companies are dismayed. Wind energy companies are dismayed. Environmentalists are stunned. Save the world and pay a fine. What are these numbskulls thinking?

(link to Outside The Beltway)

http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/oklahoma-to-charge-homeowners-who-install-solar-panels/

Murdered By Swans, HOA Sued

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I’m not sure how far this lawsuit will go, but homeowners in this HOA will end up with special assessments to pay all the lawyers.

Have you ever heard of someone being murdered by swans? Me neither. But according to this Illinois lawsuit mute swans are capable of breaking a man’s leg. That probably makes them as dangerous as a vicious dog. And we all know that HOAs which use vicious dogs in their common areas are not immune to lawsuits.

Don’t count me as a skeptic on this one. I vividly remember being attacked by a vicious goose in the Quadrangle at Fort Sam Houston when I was just ten or eleven years old. My younger brother and I were both attacked and injured and it’s given me a lifelong fear of certain angry birds.  So believe me that large birds won’t hesitate at taking on a human. And even though I love animals, I get a special kind of glee roasting and serving certain birds on holidays.

Maybe this lawsuit will be tossed out of court because it’s frivolous. Maybe that won’t happen until the lawyers make a few hundred thousand bucks in legal fees. In the end, though, the homeowners will get pummeled. And these angry birds will get away with murder.

Count on it.

(link to murderous swans)