Category Archives: Humor

Sheesh! Micro-Managing An HOA Mermaid!

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Will wonders never cease? A young lady has been kicked out of her swimming pool by the Fishhawk Ranch Homeowners Association. That’s in Lithia, Florida.

Heck, who’s ever even heard of Lithia? Or cared about it?

But they’re on the map, now, after telling homeowner Eden Sirene that she’s violated the pool’s ‘no flippers’ rule. Board members want to keep their pool safe for the kiddies, of course, so swim fins are out.

Still, Eden Sirene doesn’t actually use swim fins. No, she entertains the kids by wearing a mermaid outfit in the water. In the strict sense of the word, is it a fin? Well, if you believe in mermaids then this outfit kind of looks like a fin.

Homeowners Associations have no sense of humor.

None.

http://tinyurl.com/kul9gd3

Creepy, Creepy Realtors!

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LOL! I intentionally avoid going to other Homeowners Rights websites so I don’t inadvertently post a story without giving full credit to the initial blogger. But someone in our movement emailed this to me, and it’s too good not to re-post. In any event, full credit here goes to Dr. Evan McKenzie for coming up with this one first.

It’s about a couple of Realtors involved in high-end McMansion sales who were caught throwing dead animals around the driveway of a neighboring property, apparently to scare potential buyers away from a rival Realtor’s listing.

There really must be some rampant mental illness going around in the real estate business. This is one they really should highlight at the annual Realtors Convention. Somehow, I think they won’t.

http://tinyurl.com/mxlwrwa 

 

Hanging The Flag

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Upside down flagA neighborhood in Pendleton, Oregon is furious with a homeowner who’s begun flying his flag upside down as a protest against President Barack Obama. The upside down flag is recognized internationally as a symbol of distress.

Oregon has long been one of the most left-leaning states in the country and it’s full of Homeowners Associations. The surprising thing is that an Oregon neighborhood is protesting any display of the American flag at all, right side up or upside down. While this blogger takes no public position, left or right, on politics, he still believes that American citizens have a Constitutional right to Freedom of Speech. And historically that means freedom of expression, even if the way a belief is expressed nauseates others.

We’ll see what happens in this case. But this kind of display of the American flag usually ends up in lawsuits, liens, foreclosures, or even violence.

Our Supreme Court has recognized that citizens have a right to desecrate Old Glory. That couldn’t happen in some countries. I find it interesting that in certain totalitarian regimes like Cuba it’s impossible to fly the flag upside down. It looks the same either way. That has to have been an intentional design by a country that didn’t want its citizens putting out calls of distress.

If an official flag is ever designed to fly over HOA Amerika it will also have to have a design that can’t be flown upside down, sort of like the all-white flag of surrender.

Just a few random musings on a dull afternoon.

http://tinyurl.com/lf2eq8a

original source:

http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2013/06/03/oregon-man-flying-american-flag-upside-down-to-protest-obama-presidency/

 

Some Fun From Blog Fans

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 guest blog by Nila Ridings
 
“If you wrote a blog post about your own HOA (or one you know about), what would the title be?”
 
That was the question Ward tossed out to his Facebook followers.  In the same way he didn’t disappoint us with his book, we hope he isn’t disappointed with our bloggin’ titles.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy YOUR FANS’ creativity, Ward!
 
Presenting the titles:
 
“Wake Me Up When This Nightmare Is Over!”
 
From the Board Of Directors: “Don’t Ask For Any Records, Or You Will Be Wearing Cement Shoes!”
 
“The Inmates Are Now In Charge Of The Asylum.”
 
“Do Not Threaten To Sue Me And Invite Me To Eat A Hamburger With You In The Same Sentence!”
 
“HOAs…The Gathering Place For People Of Short Stature Who Are In Need Of Being In Power!”
 
Board member to resident: “Crowbar Or Gavel; Either Way I’ll Win!”
 
“Share The Truth”
 
“What’s Mine Is Mine..And What’s Yours Is Mine!”
 
“How To Supplement Your Retirement Income By Skimming, Scamming, And Being On An HOA Board.”
 
“Elect Me To The Board! I Need One Accomplishment To Put In My Obituary!”
 
“Predator Lawyers: The Fallacy And Foolishness Of Thinking You Own Anything!” 
 
“Watch Out For The Mink Creek HOA Board Of Directors – The GOOD OLD BOYS Are Up To Their Old Tricks!”
 
“Evil Behind These Gates!”
 
“I Will Never Buy In An HOA Again!”
 
“The Self Serving Board Of Directors At Mink Creek HOA”
 
One contributor even offered up the perfect HOA Board spy song! 
 
 
Music video by Rockwell performing Somebody’s Watching Me. (C) 2004 Motown Records, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc.
 
Now, who was it that said HOA members have lost their sense of humor?  Pick your favorite and comment on it!
 

My Book’s Declining Price

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LOL! I have no idea how Amazon used book sellers work. But it’s only fair to note that TSC books apparently feels my book isn’t as saleable as it was a few weeks ago. Initially, TSC said a used copy of my book (in perfect condition) was available for 735 dollars.  That made me laugh, of course. Sadly, they’ve downgraded the price of a used copy of Neighbors At War to just 555 dollars.

Funny. For that price I’d still fly to your city, drive to your home, and personally autograph the book!

Ah yes, I’d also personally feed your dog and water your lawn!

Have a great Father’s Day!