In Florida, it’s an HOA turf war. St. Augustine turf.
Many HOAs mandate the stuff even though it soaks up water, isn’t native to Florida, demands pesticides and dies anyway. But if your St. Augustine gets a little bit brown there’s likely a big fine in the works by the Homeowners Association. Many homeowners have been begging for the chance to plant more environmentally friendly lawns, but the arrogance of many HOA boards is beyond description.
“You knew the rules before you bought into this HOA,” they scream. We’ve all heard that. We all know that. But if the EPA ever declared Homeowners Associations to be an illegal toxic chemical many of us would be a lot better off.
Whew! The racket coming from Clay County, Florida is pretty funny. The county is considering an ordinance that would allow homeowners to own up to four chickens apiece, just no roosters.
Backyard chickens are a growing fad all over the country. But three Homeowners Associations on Fleming Island are kicking up a fuss. They don’t mind chickens elsewhere, but just no chickens where gentrified people can see them. The excuses they give (in the story linked below) are pretty amusing. They’re afraid if a dog sees a chicken and jumps the fence it might injure a child. (Huh?) They’re also afraid a county ordinance would supersede their contractual covenant rights. (It won’t.)
But the squawking and henpecking is really something to behold.
I’ve got a great solution for chicken lovers. Just release a truckload of chickens and roosters into the middle of these HOAs. If you’ve ever vacationed on Kauai you’ve undoubtedly seen some of the tens of thousands of chickens and roosters running wild. Seems a hurricane or two knocked down their pens and they’ve been breeding faster than anyone can hunt them. The screeching and crowing is beyond description.
Yep, that’s the quotable quote emerging from an HOA scandal in Anne Arundel County, Maryland.
Residents of the Russett Community Association voted to throw out the top two board members who homeowners claimed were misusing HOA funds. True to form, the two board members voted that the recall elections weren’t valid because they weren’t approved by the board. Then they fought the recall election in court, and of course they spent neighborhood dues money to pay for their own defense. It happens in thousands of HOAs across the country!
In this case, though, a judge ordered that the two board bullies step down from their positions. They’re not going easily, though. They’ve squandered anywhere from 80 to 100,000 bucks and more in dues money to fight the homeowners in court.
Those of us ‘in the know’ just shake our heads in wonder.
It’s all about the news media, folks. It’s all about publicity. P.T. Barnum was once rumored to have said, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity, it’s all publicity.”
Five years ago I wouldn’t have believed it possible, but now anti-HOA stories have almost gone mainstream. Our misery as HOA homeowners really is getting out there and prospective home buyers are paying attention. Does a Homeowners Association really protect your property values? Well, your property is only worth what someone is willing to pay. So if a growing number of people are saying they’ll never buy an HOA property, doesn’t that mean your HOA is actually hurting your property values?
Good neighborhoods are quirky. That’s because people are quirky, and their quirks keep us all smiling and make the world go ’round. The problem with Homeowners Associations is that they’re bland, bleached, with a sameness that brings everyone to the same level. Standing out from the crowd is a well-known guaranty of getting yourself sued.
The New Territory Residential Community Association in Sugar Land, Texas is having a conniption fit over some ‘yard art’ in front of one family’s home. Other families have decorative lions in their front yards. But the Hentschel family has put up some beautifully made statuary that’s unique: metal sculptures of a velociraptor and a T-Rex.
Of course, they’ll get liened, fined and probably sued. And that’s a shame. I would give my eye teeth to be able to live next door to the Hentschel family!
