We’re back in Saint Louis, Missouri where homeowners are in the midst of a very heated battle.
Some are saying it’s over skin color. Others say it’s the barking dogs. A few think it’s the criminal history. Whatever it is, it’s heating up.
These folks live in an HOA. Personally, I do not see where the HOA should even think of getting involved in this battle.
The black lesbian lady with the four barking dogs has the NAACP and experienced Ferguson protesters backing her up. She has served time in prison for a murder-for-hire on her ex-husband. And that plan failed because her cousin was the hired killer and he ratted her out to the police. Somewhere along the way she acquired the barking dogs that are keeping the neighbor awake at night. She is also being accused of punching the neighbor lady in the face and leaving her with a swollen lip and bloody nose.
I see HOA involvement as nothing more than a promise to destroy the bank accounts of the homeowners. Others think they should enforce the CC&Rs of no more than two dogs per household. I still say stay away from this battle.
And for the lady who can’t get any sleep, I suggest a white noise machine with earplugs. You’ll never hear the barking dogs but be sure you have a number of smoke alarms in your house so you would hear them if there’s an emergency.
As the battle rages on, I will be watching from the sidelines.
Hypothetical question: Is it really wrong to beat your Homeowners Association president with a golf club? Wait! Before you get mad, I really raised that question just to amuse you. Some might say, “Nah, that’s never wrong.” But of course it is.
Our latest story of HOA violence involves the father of famed country singer Kenny Chesney. He’s been arrested for beating his HOA president. I’m not sure what his defense will be, but it looks like he’d had enough from this board official and just lost his temper. He’ll probably plead temporary insanity, which is what most suspects in HOA violence do. That’s a pretty good defense for him because about two million HOA homeowners would probably corroborate the fact that HOA bullies really can drive you insane.
Yep, it’s a question a lot of us have been asking: With The Donald being such a high-powered real estate developer, what does he think about owner associations? After all, he creates the covenants for all the condos he sells.
I should charge money for psychic readings! It was four or five years ago that I began predicting the advent of drones and that they would eventually be cheap enough for the boards of Homeowners Associations to start using them to inspect the most private part of your property. Your nude sunbathing or hot tub trysts could be played on the TV set at the HOA clubhouse and you probably wouldn’t win a legal case.
Well, so far I’m batting about 90% so far. The drones are here. They cost as little a four hundred bucks. And they’re popping up in thousands and thousands of places. Realtors are using them to advertise homes and neighborhoods. Terrorists are using them to interfere with commercial aircraft. Voyeurs are using them to videotape you and your lover on the backyard blanket. The FAA only controls drones in airspace over 1000 feet.
Privacy? Fugeddaboutit!
There’ve been a number of cases where homeowners have shot drones out of the air. The shooters usually end up being arrested and jailed. But it’s a whole new area of developing law and will probably take a decade or more to resolve. In the meantime even if a jury finds you not guilty you will have expended hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees.
The blog I wrote about the Raintree Lake HOA in Lee’s Summit, Missouri on August 10th mentioned discussions of a GoFundMe account for the Stout family legal defense. They are standing up and fighting against the HOA to keep their daughters’ purple playset.
Sure enough, somebody took the bull by the horns and set it up. The donations are rolling in. And the comments from some of the donors are VERY interesting. Even a Realtor is making mention of people being afraid to buy in HOAs. How many times have we heard that before?
It’s so sickening to think all that money will go to fund the college funds of children of two HOA lawyers. Or maybe a second home in Breckenridge, Bozeman, or Bonaire. Or, possibly a yacht for the Lake of the Ozarks. No matter what the outcome of the lawsuit in the courtroom, the lawyers come out the winners. This is how the HOA legal game is played. Everybody loses except the lawyers. The pay off is determined by how long the lawyers can keep the battle raging.
When I sold yellow page advertising years ago, I had hundreds of attorneys as clients. When I asked what was the best case I could bring them they would tell me a nasty divorce. Naive me, I asked how do you know it’s a nasty divorce? With a chuckle from the attorneys I kept hearing, “you get them to call and we KNOW how to make it nasty!” Something tells me the days of the nasty divorces have been replaced with nasty HOA legal battles. Unfortunately, in that arena, I am not at all naive!
