Tag Archives: foreclosure

Bimbo erections Eruptions in Arizona!!!

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BIMBO erections ERUPTIONS IN ARIZONA!!!

Sorry. I guess my strike through function doesn’t work on headlines

But Arizona’s Bimbo eruptions are the new American Vesuvius. First comes the gas, then the pumice, finally the lava. And that’s how you make a volcano (take that, L. Ron Hubbard!)

Yes, it seems Michelle Ugenti, the Arizona Legislature’s permanently enshrined Bimbo, is now up to her lashy lush eyebrows in steamy sex mail with another, shall we say b-i-g fellow lawmaker. He must be big, because he doesn’t want any of this steam being released to the public. Divorce lawyers on both sides are going nuts, or at least crazy, trying to keep the lid on this simmering scandal. The Bimbo’s husband wants his hands on those emails but her attorney is arguing it’s personal business, and privileged legislative business to boot! Heck, we all know that legislators are constantly screwing the public. But these lawyers think that kind of activity is a private affair. Not so fast, wise guys! You can screw your lawyer, screw your paramour, BUT DO NOT SCREW THE TAXPAYER!

Take a bit of advice from an old investigative reporter who’s been through the courts in search of cell phone records before. Bimbo Ugenti’s lawyer is blowing, uh, er, smoke. Yeah, smoke. He’s wrong about Legislative privilege preventing the release of the Bimbo’s sexy texts. We proved that in Colorado. Our good old governor, our good old Denver Mayor both learned the hard way (ahem) that if a single dime of taxpayers’ money paid for cell phone bills or text messages, the voters had a right to see those records! An absolute right! They’re not private records if they traveled over a taxpayer funded phone system or if they traveled over a Legislative issued phone or device! Bimbo Ugenti is too much of a dumbo to keep her legislative account separate from her personal account. Forget the divorce arguments. Forget privacy arguments. FOLLOW THE MONEY! Use a newspaper or a TV station to sue for the Bimbo’s messages on behalf of the taxpayers of Arizona! We won in Colorado. You’ll win in Arizona.

Take my advice, and you’ll soon be able to officially name Arizona’s new Pompeii something like “Mt. Pompous-ass.”

(Link to Bimbo Ugenti’s troubles)

 

 

Starting a New Month

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OK, some straight talk, here. We have a ton of people coming to this website. Those people are reading an average of 250,000 to 300,000 pages of our material each month. BUT THAT DOESN’T CUT IT!

Those of you who’ve read my book, Neighbors At War, know that it has a tremendous amount of important material that never makes it onto this website. You also know that my book is important for all homeowners, inside and outside of Homeowners Associations. (It’s also a fun read!) I happen to know that a lot of libraries carry my book and it’s frequently loaned to other libraries across the country. That’s pretty good traction. I know, however, that I haven’t sold my book to all of you yet.

So….

During the month of June I’m going to GIVE my book to you FREE. Well, let me partially retract that. If you can honestly say you haven’t purchased my book because you are destitute and if you’ll pay for the postage and the envelope (approximately five bucks) I will send it to you for free. Geez, what other author has ever offered you THAT kind of deal? Oh yes, one other caveat: Once you finish the book you must make at least one other homeowner read it.

The information it contains is far more valuable than the paltry publishing royalties I get.

That’s all the huckstering… for now.

 

Blue State Blues

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Ever since I started using this website to try to hawk my book, Neighbors At War, I’ve been told by well-meaning friends and relatives, don’t ever attack Oregon. That state is so Blue it has a built-in guilt complex. Personal guilt hangs so heavy in the air in Oregon that these blue state leftists walk around in their hair shirts (see self-abuse by Monasteries) and lash their own backs with whips. It’s not the rainy weather that depresses them, it’s the load of guilt on their shoulders. I was promised I would never find a case of embezzling from neighbors in an Oregon Homeowners Association.

I should have obeyed my instincts. My heart tells me that mankind is desperately wicked and that all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God. I was right. My Oregonian friends (God love ’em), were wrong.

Comes, now, an attractive young fellow named David Kobbeman. The newspaper headline doesn’t mince words…. “Sentenced to 48 months in prison.”

There’s no way of telling how many widows he made penniless by embezzling a half million from his HOA. No way of telling how many bright-eyed youngsters will now not be able to afford college. And no way of telling how many sick babies might have found medical cures if their parents could have sold their homes and belongings to pay for new treatments.

The maddening thing….the damnably maddening thing I learned in my forty years as an investigative TV reporter is that the felons who have the absolutely most fun in federal prison are con-men. They are the king of the heap. Every criminal looks up to the con man. Every bank robber and baby molester makes a pilgrimage to the con-man’s cell. He IS THE KING!  The con-man is KING OF THE PRISON! He gets the best food, he gets the first cigarettes, he gets the best women!

Oooh, I guess I might have said a little too much, there. But yes, the con man gets the best women. Are there women in prison? That’s one of the secrets you learn if you’ve spent any time with a buddy who did a sentence at Lompoc or at another low security prison. If you’re high up in the ranks of prisoners, if you’re a con-man, you’re the warden’s good buddy. And yes, you’re occasionally taken into town to meet the ladies. And that warden wants to be seen around town with you.

Bottom line: spend your time swindling money from widows and orphans. When you’re jailed you be assured of having the best damn vacation of your life.

Believe it!

(Ok, now here’s the straight unvarnished, sanitized news:)

 

Oh Lordy, I Do Love My Readers!

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How the heck do you keep finding such wonderful stories?!? I’m only a pajama-clad blogger sitting in my bedroom at night trying to find stories here and there that might amuse you. But you folks are so much better than I.

Wow!

A Statue of Liberty with glowing eyes!

An embarrassed and angry HOA!

And a new round of stupidity for the terminally stupid.

Lon Neuville,  homeowner in the Debary Plantation HOA got permission from his HOA to put up a replica of the Statue of Liberty. “Whatever,” the HOA said.

Well, boy howdy, if this statute didn’t jolt a few dim bulbs loose from their sockets. “Permission to put up the statue, denied!” the Florida HOA board said.

“Not so fast, ya dingbats,” DeBary said. “You gave me permission and now you’re saying you didn’t?”

“Well, we had no idea your Statue of Liberty was going to have those electrical glowing eyes!”

What a hoot! Now, both sides are hunkering down with lawyers. And the lawyers, ever the crocs in this bug-infested swamp, plan on taking a big financial bite out of both sides.

Chomp, chomp!

(link to Lady Liberty story)

 


Read more: http://www.myfoxphilly.com/story/24633092/debary-man-battles-hoa-over-lady-liberty-statue#ixzz32ygz066W

 

 

 

Pity the Boss Man

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You know, you’ve gotta start feeling a little sorry for Las Vegas crime boss Leon Benzer right about now. Gosh, dang! Another four of his co-conspirators have now pleaded  guilty to charges of racketeering and conspiring to steal massive amounts of money from Las Vegas homeowners. But Bobo Benzer hasn’t been able to keep his organized crime mob together. Gone are the days when a spaghetti-eating garlic-spitter could fire a .32 shell into the face of an adversary to shut him up. These days, you just can’t get good help.

Benzer is now just one of a tiny handful of crooks still accused of decimating Homeowners Associations in the Valley by putting ‘straw men’ into office as HOA board members and voting to divert millions of dollars in insurance mitigation work to his minions of willing wonks. (Actually, I was going to say ‘Wops’ but thought better of it. Besides, his name is Benzer, not Benzini). Sure, the first handful of people fingered in the HOA investigation ‘committed suicide.’ But in the old days a suicide really meant something, didn’t it? Suicide was a rite of passage, an honor befitting a snitch’s snitch. One couldn’t be an effective Capo without a few suicides scattered here and there around the landscape.

But, dang! Every time a ‘suicide’ happened in the feds’ Las Vegas HOA investigation, more rats started squealing. This wasn’t just a few rodents trying to find a wooden plank, this was swarms of rats diving off the decks of the Titanic.

Yep, it must be a lonesome time for Leon Benzer. Poor Babee!